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    Atrocities We Deploy

    Echoes of Life
    Echoes of Life

    Posts : 22
    Man Points : 1
    Join date : 2011-09-03

    Atrocities We Deploy

    Post  Echoes of Life on Wed Sep 07, 2011 8:09 am

    Warning: Kinda dark

    We care but we take
    and scorch with fires of hate
    not accepting our own mistakes
    Our hunger destroying all those at stake.

    pretending to hide behind a pretentious smile
    reeking of darkness fatal at first glance
    paths of death that go on for miles
    deliberately beheading our second chance

    Atrocities we deploy upon those who care
    like poisonous fangs upon a helpless prey
    And the dark mist which resides throughout the night
    smothers silently on our smiles which bind at first sight

    Woe to the who casts the first stone
    frolicking in pain and in wrongs we've sewn
    Upon the hopeless you daily dine
    saving your atrocity till the perfect time.

    Oh angel of atrocity, your wings bring death
    but you to will pay for your atrocious theft
    the lives you steal, and the pain you bring
    have sewn in you a needle with a tremendous sting

    For it has been foretold, you will fail
    like the corpses you cherish with meat so stale
    your gluttony and deception will crawl and diminish
    for it has been done, and you are finished.

    Atrocity ©2011 ~echosoflife

    Posts : 12
    Man Points : 2
    Join date : 2011-09-05
    Age : 24
    Location : LA

    Re: Atrocities We Deploy

    Post  Kuro on Wed Sep 07, 2011 10:44 am

    You have a nice concept going on but could use some better composition. The tag is rather bland imo, nothing really grabs my attention. Could add more variety around like with the effects, lighting, and whatnot.

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